Father Shagger O’Toole said it was all the fault of his housekeeper’s arse. The priest has had his fingers in the church building fund to the tune of £50,000.
“It was Mrs O’Neill’s fault. She was cleaning in the hall, on her hands and knees, when I came in the house. I took one look at her big round bum and knew I had to have some. It was just like Saint Paul on the way to Damascus, an epiphany. At once I went to my housekeeper, took her by the hand and led her to bed. Oh, what larks!”
Mary O’Neill said, “It was a moment I had been expecting for some time. It isn’t natural for men not to have the joy of sex. Father O’Toole didn’t have to shower me with gifts. I would have done it for nothing.”
When asked what her husband thought about Mrs O’Neill’s indiscretions she said, “ He is a Christian man. He says it is the will of God. He says I can continue to have sexual relations with the Father as long as he can join in.”