Mike Wheels discovered to his horror that he had bought the main Car Park in Hexham at auction instead of the two bed terrace he was after.
Mike said, “I was at the auction and bid for the house when I must have been distracted. I seemed to go into a trance. When I woke up a beautiful woman was sitting next to me and I suddenly realised I had been watching her ever since she entered the room. She is a tall, shapely blond, beautiful face, stunning body. I was simply mesmerised as she wriggled and jiggled her way into the room, down the main aisle and along my row of seats until she sat down next to me and breathed huskily into my left ear, “Hello, Mike, I think you’ve bought the car park.”
On further enquiry as to why the car park that was designed for public use could be sold to a private individual the auctioneers told me, “It is all the fault of the Hexham Courant. Ever since the newspaper began banging on about why should the public pay for some car parks but not others in Northumberland that the main car park in Hexham had become a battle ground in the newspaper’s fights against the county council.”
A spokesman for Northumberland County Council said, “The Hexham Courant is a law into itself. It follows Tory ideology in believing that public utilities produce Labour voters. This piece of private enterprise should suit the Hexham Courant to the core. Why it should now be complaining is just the nature of the beast especially seen when the County Council is no longer ruled by the Tories.”